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Year in Review pt. 1 (or, The Christmas that Wasn’t)

December 31, 2008

I didn’t take a single photo this Christmas. I didn’t decorate my house. I didn’t go see my family.

Our finances have been less than stellar lately, so I decided a month or so ago that we wouldn’t “do” Christmas. It seemed ridiculous to spend a lot of money that we didn’t have. And I was in such a funk that I wasn’t even interested in putting up the first decoration either. Honestly I just wanted the day to come and go without much fanfare.

Mark and I did decide to get a TV, instead of us each buying a number of gifts for each other like we usually did. Like most big purchases I’ve made lately, I regretted buying it a few hours later. We can’t really afford it, but I’m rationalizing it by saying I’ll just stay home most of the winter and save money (so friends, if you want to hang out, you may have to come to my house for a night of idiot box and microwave popcorn).

Every year for as long as I can remember my family goes on vacation together after Christmas. This year our plans got kinked early on thanks to my brother and his recently acquired family. But my mom, dad and I had planned on going to Savannah, just the three of us, until my dad decided he was just too tired to travel. My dad is 82 but still works like he’s 30, at his own business.

So with our family vacation idea nixed, I had planned on spending Christmas Day with Mark and then going to visit my parents the day after. But the weekend before Christmas I got so sick, and was still feeling ill through Christmas, that I didn’t feel like making the trip. I just didn’t see the point in going there just to lay around all day. Plus, I knew I was going to see them the very next weekend for my cousin’s memorial service.

Considering my brother’s situation, our financial instability, and my seasonal affective disorder (seriously, and it’s been so bad this year),  I knew this Christmas would be a bit different. But I didn’t expect to be sick, completely broke, and really just altogether miserable. Granted, it was very nice to spend Christmas day with Mark, even though we both felt like hell. But at least we got to be together.

I keep trying to remember that part, and other positive aspects of the year. We both have jobs, and, recent illnesses aside, we both have our health. We both have loving families who care about us. We have our wonderful pets who add joy to our lives every day. But still, I can’t help but look back on this Christmas as one of the worst ever. I don’t even have a single photo. But maybe that’s a good thing. What would I have taken a photo of, the dozens of used tissues scattered about my couch?

It’s weird, I remember most Christmases according to where we went on our family vacation. Last year it was Panama City Beach. Year before that, Charleston. And the year before that, Clearwater Beach. (Trying to remember beyond that but they blur together… Savannah, another Charleston visit, Disney World…) I guess this Christmas will be remembered as Sick Christmas, Lame Christmas, or maybe not at all.

I really don’t want to end 2008 on a pity party. But I must say, right now I’m just really over this year. I intend to make some changes in ’09 that I think, and hope, will make it a better year than ’08. But I’m sure I’ll get to all that later. For now, I’m saying goodbye, and mostly, good riddance, to ’08. “Everything that happens is from now on.”

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 1, 2009 8:26 pm

    2008 can bite me. Here’s to 2009!

  2. January 6, 2009 10:11 pm

    hopefully this will cheer you up! you’ve been tagged!

    oh and bring on 2009! poo to 2008!

  3. January 6, 2009 10:21 pm

    i was wallowing earlier. better now. and checking out the tag, thanks! 🙂

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